November 19, 2008


I’m oh so busy, y’all, but I did have time to wander aimlessly around Books a Million tonight.  At checkout, Nicole Kidman caught my eye, and not in a good way.  Doesn’t she have people anymore?  And what, exactly, is wrong with this picture?  I can’t put my finger on it because my finger isn’t that big, but where to start?

Thanks for stopping by.  I hope to see you more often on the other side of Thanksgiving and finals.


A Dubious Distinction

November 8, 2008


If South Carolina weren’t a place of such breathtaking beauty (and it is, trust me), with an amazingly temperate climate, a low cost of living, one of the most storied college football coaches ever, and fresh seafood to die for, I would have to tell it to go fuck itself for emerging from Tuesday’s election with no women in the state Senate.  None.  Zero.


Change We Can Believe In

November 4, 2008

Yes, please: Barry calls for a college football national championship playoff to replace the universally-loathed BCS nonsense.

An Uneasy Peace

November 4, 2008


I’ve mentioned before that I am one-half of a politically divided marriage.  Although my other half and I aren’t really that far apart on the issues (we’re both essentially Libertarian, but he takes the fiscal route to the GOP while I take the social issues yellow brick road and side with the Dems), we definitely want our respective candidates to win tomorrow night.  Whatever happens, one of us is going to be deeply unhappy, and while I am looking forward to the excitement of election night, I am dreading that final moment when one of us is holding back the victory dance and the other is bracing for the next four years.  Election night 2000 was the unhappiest of moments, and I do not desire a repeat.

See y’all on the other side.

Whatever, Dude.

October 28, 2008

I haven’t taken “because I said so” as justification for anything that comes out of Colin Powell’s mouth since his bullshit appearance before the U.N. Security Council pre-Stupidest War Ever, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to find he was a character witness for Ted Stevens during Stevens’ recent federal trial on financial disclosure law violations.  Still, it doesn’t look good, especially since Stevens was convicted yesterday on all counts and is already being widely decried as a corrupt old fucker, even by those within his own party.  I didn’t believe Powell in 2003, I don’t believe him when he says Ted Stevens is a “trusted individual” with a “sterling reputation,” and I’m still waiting to hear why he’s a man whose word is irrefutable truth.  Sure, I was happy when he endorsed O, but as someone who knew a lie when I saw it during his testimony outlining “our” case for war in Iraq, I’m unsure why this man’s word means anything more than anyone else’s.

Bring me someone who wasn’t W’s mouthpiece during the WMD nonsense, and I’ll be all ears for his presidential candidate endorsement.  Until then, I’ll just be hanging out, drinking Maker’s, listening to Miley Cyrus, and generally being a transformational beach bum.

The Remaining Tie that Binds is Fraying.

October 27, 2008

Some days I’m not sure who the fuck the Democratic Party even is anymore, and today is one of those days.

Just Tell Me What You Want!

October 27, 2008

Do you like maps?  Do you like circles?  Do you like thinking about what the media wants out of you?  Then you will heart this map of U.S. newspapers’ presidential candidate endorsements big time.  Just be sure to fold it correctly when you’re finished.

Um. So, About My iPod.

October 27, 2008

Months and months and DAMN months ago, I told Kadinsky aka World’s Hottest Woman that she should ask ButtercupPunch readers to confess the most embarrassing song on their iPods.  Have I heard back from that hawtbitch?  No.  (I have, however, nibbled on her shoulder, so there’s that).  Anyway, confession is wicked good for the soul, so I’ma go it alone and let y’all know what I’m holding. Read the rest of this entry »

PSA: Daniel Craig in Parade

October 26, 2008

Usually our Sunday “Parade” magazine heads straight to that great green trash can in the sky, but today, bitches, my lover graces the front page (kind of a weird picture, but whatever).  The real prize is inside, though, because the interview reaffirmed my love for  Mr. Craig.  Who would make the better Bond, the interviewer asks – Obama or McCain?  Obama, he says, although McCain would make a great M because he has “a kind of Judi Dench quality.”  LOVE!  Check it out – you will not be disappointed.

Let’s Go Krogering. For the Worst of Everything…

October 23, 2008

Including the pickup lines.

Picture it: Murrells Inlet Kroger, 2008.  Me, trying to buy groceries.  Cute young checkout girl, trying to do her job.  Old, yellow biker dude skeezer, in line behind me buying beer and chicken.

Skeezer to checkout girl: So, how’re you?

Checkout girl: Fine.

Skeezer: I can see that.

Me: Die in a fire.

Sometimes you wish you handn’t left your shank at home, knowhuddimean?