Three Words: Bacon. Apple. Pie.

October 23, 2008

 

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Let’s Blow Some Shit Up

October 10, 2008
It’s a lazy, rainy Friday afternoon at my house.  I’m watching “Dexter” while I work, and I’m just too sluggish to write about anything.  But I’m NEVER too lazy to print a good LOLetter to the Editor.  Today’s (from the Sun News) is a classic:
WHY NOT TRY BLOWING UP A HURRICANE?

I have a probable solution for stopping or at least disabling the mighty hurricanes that destruct and destroy many lives and property along their pathways.

With today’s advances in resources and technology, we could track these storms as they form from the beginning in their infancy and at such time when they look to become a full-fledged hurricane, drop a megaton blast that would be equivalent to a hydrogen bomb or greater (without the radiation, of course) down into the center (eye) of the circling whirlwind, detonating it at or about water level. This should be enough force to scatter its revolving patern into more of a tropical storm, which would be far less than the destructive force that it could become if left alone.

If one blast didn’t get the job done, then one or two more back up blasts could be administered. If at that point we could break it up to become a tropical storm, then we could probably get only the needed rain it would produce, with minimum wind damage.

Some people might say this isn’t right because you’re interfering with mother nature. I disagree with that conception, after all mother nature is not always on target.

What about the natural disasters that we try to control such as the devastating forest fires that also occur annually? Don’t we try to control them as well?

What’s the downside to my theory of breaking down the hurricane? I don’t know, but it’s worth a calculated attempt to blow these monsters apart when they are just getting started and to stop for the most part the fear, devastation, disruption, monetary losses and loss of life that follows in the path of hurricanes.

The writer lives in Murrells Inlet.

The Church of Christ-Pentecostal Ad War is Getting Ugly

October 8, 2008

One thing I miss about living in Tennessee is easy access to the Dunlap Tribune.  It’s a small-town weekly and “the only newspaper in the world devoted exclusively to the progress of Sequatchie County.”  True dat.  My in-laws brought me a copy during their visit last weekend, and I was thrilled to find the following ad on page 3, in between an ad for the Third Annual Run Away Pig Road Race and an article about the McMinn County Living Heritage Museum’s quilt show. Read the rest of this entry »

Tell Me Something Good. Tell Me That You Still Love Me.

October 8, 2008

If I weren’t already done with the DNC (the Democratic National Committee, mind you, not Democrat candidates in general), I am now.  I just received an “Ask Me How Many Houses I Own” sticker in the mail, along with a request for a donation.  Hahahahaha, good one, Howard Dean! Read the rest of this entry »

You Paid HOW MUCH For That Degree?

October 2, 2008

NPR’s “Day to Day” had a story today about parents’ struggles to pay the rising cost of tuition at private colleges and universities.  Average annual tuition at those institutions is now $23,000.  I heard a story a little while ago about the top schools charging more than $50,000 per year.  I certainly feel for parents who enrolled their children at these schools and are now struggling to pay increasing costs in a slumping economy, but I have to wonder: why did they do it in the first place? Read the rest of this entry »

Something We Can Agree On

October 2, 2008

Kim Kardashian is the latest contestant to get the boot on “Dancing With the Stars,” and this morning she was on “The View” to show off her dance skills and explain how it all went down.  Kim let the ladies know that, unlike last season’s winner Kristi Yamaguchi, whose fans are so clearly moms and Olympic enthusiasts with nothing better to do than watch DWTS, her fans are “younger” and probably didn’t tune in or vote.

I think she’s right.  My imaginary friend was watching “Project Runway” with me last night and just can’t be bothered with a has-been dance-off.  I assume Kim’s is the same way.

If America Ceases to Be Good, America Will Cease to Be Great

October 2, 2008

This is a sentiment I believe in.  It’s one reason I’m a Democrat.  I think the Democratic party is out to do the most good for the most people.  I’m all about that, and I always will be.  This year’s presidential primary season was a difficult one for me, though, because I don’t think our party chose the best candidate.  I think Barack Obama will win the election, and I’m happy about that, but I think we had a chance to choose someone much more qualified and electable and effective and allowed that opportunity to slip through our fingers in a frenzy over all things shiny and new.  Sometimes I think I’ve moved past that (although I obviously haven’t), and the night I watched Obama’s acceptance speech at the convention was one of those times.  In that moment, I was especially proud to be a Democrat, because we are the party that wants good things – health insurance, job security, civil rights, and a free society – for our fellow citizens.  That’s the right side to be on. Read the rest of this entry »

How Letters Are Suppose to Be Written

October 1, 2008

Today’s letter (from The Sun News) merits recognition not so much for its sentiment but for its creative use of the English language.  (Not that the writer doesn’t have any ideas; in fact, she has an Idea.)  Read on: Read the rest of this entry »

The News From Back Home…

October 1, 2008

…is that vampires have moved in.  Seems like impaling your victims would be overkill, but I guess that’s not for mere mortals to judge.

Life is What Happens When You’re Busy Making Other Plans

September 29, 2008

I’ve been busy for the last nine years.  I’ve been getting married and having kids and going to school and starting new careers and going grocery shopping and balancing my checkbook and waiting in customer service queue and making lunches and vacuuming up all the dog hair and paying my library fines.  There have been breathtaking moments of awe, like the early March afternoon I walked out of UT Hospital with my brand-new husband and my brand-new babies, blinking into the sunlight and wondering how the world could be so amazing and so terrifying at the same time.  But mostly there have been mundane moments of just trying to get by, like the thousands of times I schlepped those same two babies to and from school or daycare, often one homework assignment or one permission slip or one snack or one jacket short and almost always a few minutes later than I had planned to be.  Mostly, I just take care of stuff and try to get a little bit ahead so that I can relax or something, but I usually take that extra time to get a little bit more ahead on the same old shit that I’ve been getting ahead on so I could conceivably relax. Read the rest of this entry »