Posts Tagged ‘NPR’

Stadium Envy is Like Penis Envy

August 27, 2008

I love NPR’s “Day to Day” program.  I stream it online at 1:00 p.m. EST every day on Chattanooga’s WUTC.  It always has the right mix of important news and human interest stories, and today I got really excited because they announced that they’d be doing a piece on the biggest college football stadiums in America.  Great!  I know that Tennessee’s Neyland Stadium is right up there.  Having attended almost every home game there during law school, rain or shine, pregnant with twins or barren womb, I was ready for a quick trip down memory lane.  But you know what?  Bitches didn’t even mention UT’s stadium.  They went on and on about Michigan’s Big House, Lameass Ohio State’s stadium, and the venue at which Penn State’s sorry excuse for a pigskin squad plays ball.  LAME, LAME, LAME.  I will cut them.  The way I see it, not only is Neyland Stadium bigger than Ohio Stadium (original name, people, love it), it also houses a real football team that plays in a real conference.  No, it isn’t as big as the Big House or Penn State’s Beaver Stadium hahahahaha, but it is better, because when it comes to UT Vols football, we’re not talking about Pee Dee Church League.  We’re talking about the SEC, whom God prefers above all other conferences.  Pray a little on it, NPR.  I’ll be waiting for your follow up story.  May I suggest you cruise into town with the Vol Navy and do an eyewitness report for the October 25 Alabama game?  It really is the only way to go.

O Hai

August 26, 2008

I had something to say about the Democratic Convention, and I think it was big and important, but I squandered my day, my brainpower, and my will to avoid the Maker’s Mark before 5:00 p.m. on a senseless, bitter fight with a bunch of hawt Canadian bitches over on Buttercuppunch.  Having lost my train of thought, I’m going to say something simple instead: Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell is hiding in my closet, listening to every word I say.  Just this past Sunday, I was standing in my bedroom, wildly waving the Sunday paper about, jabbing my finger in J’s wary face, and telling him that I’d better see Barry Obama’s skinny ass in the local VFW hall and at Friday night bingo and at the next NASCAR race because playing to college students and arena crowds in Germany is a road to nowhere.  Well, guess what Ed Rendell had to say in an interview with NPR  this morning? (more…)