Posts Tagged ‘SEC Football’

A Night to Remember

September 1, 2008

UCLA keeps throwing the ball to the Vols, and I’m pretty sure a meth lab just exploded behind my house.  Never a dull moment…

P.S.  I got this photo, captioned “Remains of Meth Lab Trailor,” from the Saline County, Kansas, Sheriff’s Meth Enforcement website.  I can’t hate on them too much, though, since I can’t spell “sheriff” without holding my mouth right.  Carry on, Saline County!



August 31, 2008

When I was a little girl, no football team was feared in Knoxville more than ‘Bama, and no man was respected in the South more than Bear Bryant.  I love all things SEC, but I have a real soft spot for the Crimson Tide in particular because the third Saturday in October is the stuff Southern football legends are made of – second only to the legacy of the man in the hounds tooth hat.   While the Bear is long gone, I was still overjoyed to see this year’s Alabama team upset ninth-ranked Clemson.  Roll Tide, roll SEC, and nanny nanny boo boo Clemson and ACC fans.  There is another football team in your state, you know, and its coach’s hats are equally legendary.  Check them out, why don’t you?

ESPN Classic: Classic Matchups in Real-Time

August 30, 2008

Did y’all enjoy that LSU/Apppalachian State game?  I heard it was good to see the Tigers back in action.  I wouldn’t know, though, because even though I have 1200 channels of programming, I don’t have ESPN Classic.  In fact, no one in the Myrtle Beach area does.  Not that we wanted to see the defending national champion play its season opener against a team that shocked another top-ranked team in its own season opener last year.  Meanwhile, the other ESPN channels (which I do receive) were airing the following all-important games:

  • Bowling Green at Pittsburgh
  • East Carolina vs. Virginia Tech
  • Syracuse at Northwestern

High five, ESPN!  And way to geaux, Tigers.

PSA: SEC Football Returns Tonight

August 28, 2008

NC State at South Carolina, 8:00 EST, ESPN

Vanderbilt at Miami(Ohio), 7:30 EST, ESPNU

P.S.  I’m most excited about my first year as a Gamecock fan and a loyal subject of the Spurrier kingdom.  I’ve waited my whole livelong life to call one of the Visor’s teams my own, and while I’m a UT Vol first, I also subscribe to the “when in Rome” theory of SEC football, except for when I’m in Georgia, obviously (sorry, Devil).   Anyway, let’s get this party started!

Stadium Envy is Like Penis Envy

August 27, 2008

I love NPR’s “Day to Day” program.  I stream it online at 1:00 p.m. EST every day on Chattanooga’s WUTC.  It always has the right mix of important news and human interest stories, and today I got really excited because they announced that they’d be doing a piece on the biggest college football stadiums in America.  Great!  I know that Tennessee’s Neyland Stadium is right up there.  Having attended almost every home game there during law school, rain or shine, pregnant with twins or barren womb, I was ready for a quick trip down memory lane.  But you know what?  Bitches didn’t even mention UT’s stadium.  They went on and on about Michigan’s Big House, Lameass Ohio State’s stadium, and the venue at which Penn State’s sorry excuse for a pigskin squad plays ball.  LAME, LAME, LAME.  I will cut them.  The way I see it, not only is Neyland Stadium bigger than Ohio Stadium (original name, people, love it), it also houses a real football team that plays in a real conference.  No, it isn’t as big as the Big House or Penn State’s Beaver Stadium hahahahaha, but it is better, because when it comes to UT Vols football, we’re not talking about Pee Dee Church League.  We’re talking about the SEC, whom God prefers above all other conferences.  Pray a little on it, NPR.  I’ll be waiting for your follow up story.  May I suggest you cruise into town with the Vol Navy and do an eyewitness report for the October 25 Alabama game?  It really is the only way to go.

25 Days Until God’s Conference Football Kicks Off

August 3, 2008

Definitive proof that the ACC sucks balls: Some frumpy bitch with a Wake Forest sticker on her Toyota tried to run me off the road today.  But this Vol fan wasn’t goin’ down like that.  A quick swerve to the right, and I was on my way.  I just can’t be bothered with the ACC or Toyota, y’all.  Oh what a feeling?  Not so much. 

Now that we’ve settled that matter, please mark your calendars for the beginning of the SEC football season on Thursday August 28, when Carolina hosts NC State (hi, Dotty Z!) and Vanderbilt heads up to Miami (OH).  It’s very big news, it’s important to know, and that’s why I’m bothering telling you so.