Let’s Blow Some Shit Up

It’s a lazy, rainy Friday afternoon at my house.  I’m watching “Dexter” while I work, and I’m just too sluggish to write about anything.  But I’m NEVER too lazy to print a good LOLetter to the Editor.  Today’s (from the Sun News) is a classic:

I have a probable solution for stopping or at least disabling the mighty hurricanes that destruct and destroy many lives and property along their pathways.

With today’s advances in resources and technology, we could track these storms as they form from the beginning in their infancy and at such time when they look to become a full-fledged hurricane, drop a megaton blast that would be equivalent to a hydrogen bomb or greater (without the radiation, of course) down into the center (eye) of the circling whirlwind, detonating it at or about water level. This should be enough force to scatter its revolving patern into more of a tropical storm, which would be far less than the destructive force that it could become if left alone.

If one blast didn’t get the job done, then one or two more back up blasts could be administered. If at that point we could break it up to become a tropical storm, then we could probably get only the needed rain it would produce, with minimum wind damage.

Some people might say this isn’t right because you’re interfering with mother nature. I disagree with that conception, after all mother nature is not always on target.

What about the natural disasters that we try to control such as the devastating forest fires that also occur annually? Don’t we try to control them as well?

What’s the downside to my theory of breaking down the hurricane? I don’t know, but it’s worth a calculated attempt to blow these monsters apart when they are just getting started and to stop for the most part the fear, devastation, disruption, monetary losses and loss of life that follows in the path of hurricanes.

The writer lives in Murrells Inlet.

Tags: ,

12 Responses to “Let’s Blow Some Shit Up”

  1. cate3710 Says:

    I… I don’t really know what to say, besides: what?!

    I am baffled, yet amused, by this scheme.

    I’m also going to nitpick his comment about forest fires – I believe most are the result of human activity (poorly put out campfire, cigarettes, arson), so Mother Nature has a helping hand with those. Only you can prevent forest fires! (but you probably can’t prevent hurricanes)

  2. M Says:

    it’s not like hurricane winds can divert the path of these hydrogen bombs so that they land, oh, i don’t know, somewhere like cuba!! maybe we should try capturing them in giant glass jars instead, like bugs.

  3. TheDomina Says:

    That HAS to be written tongue-in-cheek, no?

  4. cate3710 Says:

    @M: Hmm. Maybe this is all an elaborate plan to bomb Cuba.

  5. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    I am all for blowing shit up but JEEZ, talk about using a hatchet where a scalpel will do…or however it goes.

  6. nadarine Says:

    I’ve got a better idea, Mr. Seibert! Let’s shoot the hurricanes! Or, if you’re worried that would be inhumane, we could try to lasso them and take ’em to the rodeo!

  7. cate3710 Says:

    Naradrine, I vaguely remember some tall tale book that involved a cowboy lassoing a tornado. The result was the Grand Canyon, I think.

  8. dorothyzbornak Says:

    I think we should redirect them to Gitmo and torture them until they leave us alone.

  9. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    I had a dream about building a great, glassy city out of the depths of the Grand Canyon, with movable parts that could rise and fall flawlessly with fluctuating water levels. It was bombass.

    Then, you know, it might be remotely interesting.

    (My apologies in advance to anyone in current awe of the Grand Canyon.)

  10. badenbaden Says:

    Aren’t hurricanes just like “God huggin’ us a little closer?’

  11. The Mayor of Bethville Says:

    Better yet, everyone in Florida stand on the coast with their hairdryers going on high.

  12. cate3710 Says:

    @Baden: No, no. Global warming is God hugging us closer. Hurricanes are him whispering sweet nothings in our ears.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: