Let Us Speak of Luxury Cars

Y’all, I know I have been MIA, but by way of explanation let me say that becoming a nurse practitioner is just as challenging as I expected it to be and more.  I’m too old to go the doctor route, but I’m going to do the next best thing, and I’ll be prescribing your favorite painkillers here in a few years, so bear with me.  You will not be disappointed.

Now, for my return to the blogosphere, let me hit a softball and rhapsodize about one of my favorite things: the Mercedes-Benz S-Class.  Holy fuck, y’all, hit’ll ‘et, you know?  I would lick it up and down.  I’m not much of a consumerist, but there’s consumer goods and then there’s consumer crack cocaine.  And someday I’m going to be snorting the S-Class parked in my garage (not that I’ve ever parked a car in the garage, being married to a gearhead and all, but still).  Some day – SOME DAY! – I will be thusly rewarded for my many years of driving a minivan with my very own big, black S-Class.  I will drive it with a heavy glass of Maker’s Mark in my hand, all over Daufuskie Island, and Gawd help the Island’s only law enforcement officer as he tries to catch me.  And it will be worth lo these many years of wandering in the minivan and Buick desert.  I speak from automotive orgasmic experience, never having forgotten the nerve-wracking but exhilirating trip I took in my nanny dad’s BMW 750i.  Holy fuck, you guys.  As good as sex.

Ahem.  Someone hurt my feelings today, though, because I saw – prepare yourselves – a big, beautiful, black S-Class with a “Support Our Troops” magnet on it.  Jesus and I wept, people.  You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you dont’ spit into the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the ‘ole Lone Ranger, and you DON’T adulterate God’s handiwork.

I have spoken.

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3 Responses to “Let Us Speak of Luxury Cars”

  1. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    WooHoo, the Beach Bum is back and in classic form! Just tell J, that’s your graduation present for making NP….so he should start saving now!

  2. lalaland13 Says:

    First a lawyer, now a nurse? You are my hero. I can barely handle my career, and all I needed was a bachelor’s.

    One of the most hateful bumper stickers I’ve ever seen had to be the, “It’s not Mother Nature, It’s Father God.” I wanted to go WTF? Does God have an overcompensation complex now or something?

  3. kadinsky Says:

    HAWT

    I won’t show you the Benz that is my next lease, you might try to have his babies.

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