FUCKING Fail, Jordin Sparks

Promise rings are icky, end of story.  You want to save it for marriage?  Go for it.  But rings should only symbolize marriage, engagement, education, and mafioso status, in my opinion.  I don’t want to look to your finger (or anywhere else) for your sexual agenda.

Jordin Sparks certainly has a right to disagree, but the VMAs may not have been the best place to do it.  And her delivery, without a doubt, SUCKED.  She really FUCKed it up.  Say it, don’t SPRAY it, Jordin.

Know what I mean?

Update: Super Bowl rings, too.  You may wear your Super Bowl rings.

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10 Responses to “FUCKING Fail, Jordin Sparks”

  1. lalaland13 Says:

    Yes, I do know what ya mean. I don’t need no promise ring not to get laid, personally.

    Yeah, Jordin is really super annoying sometimes. Her whole pro-life status, and now this, and probably a daddy who whored it up in the NFL? Urgh. Reminds me of when I believed that if you had sex with a guy, you were somehow less of a person. Took me a long time to get over that. In some ways, I think I still have it.

  2. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    My worth as a female has nothing to do with the status of my hymen. Nor will the status of my hymen be proclaimed by a fucking ring! This ignorant, degarding trend makes me HOMICIDAL!!!!

  3. ennuiprayer1 Says:

    I tip my hat to you.

  4. Russell Brand, The Jonas Brothers and Jordin…wait, I’ve done this already… « The Life of Ennui Prayer Says:

    […] use it to prove it to be a fallacy that it already is: Jordin Sparks – whoever she is – says that promise rings are a good thing because it keeps young adults – both guys and girls – from being sluts. My niece Debbie […]

  5. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    She totally showed her ass, yo. It was kind of beautiful, in all its terrible glory.

    Gee, Jordin, thanks for calling anyone who hasn’t pledged their sweet virginity to God and daddy (see http://fatherdaughterball.com/) until precious, sanctioned-by-GOD marriage a SLUT, Miss Class Act AI 2007. 2008? Whatever. So gross.

    Did anyone else think Christina totally looked like Brit-Brit during her performance? I was thoroughly convinced that Britney had pulled a fast one over Christina backstage and went on in disguise, having drugged or bludgeoned Christina into a deep, deep sleep.

  6. dorothyzbornak Says:

    @SBJ: Those father/daughter balls with all the virginity pledging creep me out to no end. It’s all very Joe and Jessica Simpson. Gross!

  7. CeeJeeMcBeeGee Says:

    Wait… aren’t wedding rings just as bad, then?

  8. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    Ha, Ciji, you got me! How could I forget the only ring I wear? This is what happens to me when I try to make all-inclusive lists.

    Allow me, if you will, to slither out of this one by saying my wedding ring has more to do with “I have someone to spend national holidays with!” than “I am pure and pledged, just like a clean coffee table.” That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

  9. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    Good point Ciji. Maybe in previous decades the wedding ring did hold a stronger symbolism, but in today’s society I perceive the meaning and even the use of wedding rings to be determined by the couple. Personally, I would/will probably pass on a ring of any type.

  10. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    Ha! My engagement ring is a SHINING BEACON OF HOMO EQUALITY, BITCHES! Take that, Jordin “Psycho Christian” Sparks!

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