You and Me and the Devil Makes Three

I hate those commercials with the moms in khakis and button-down shirts sitting in the kitchen with a mug of coffee, telling me that, like, obviously, they want the very best for their babies.  And that’s why they buy Gerber whole life insurance or Dixie paper plates.  It irks me because most of the time, “good enough” beats the shit out of “the very best” in the mothering department.  Exhibit A would be my every-other-day stop at McDonald’s on the way to school for the kids’ breakfast.  When you have boys, there’s no need to wake up any earlier than 3 minutes before you walk out the door, and sometimes you don’t have time to make breakfast in those 3 minutes.  So today, like most days, I walked in, ordered two hash browns, two Powerades, a cinnamon roll, and a large coffee.  And today, like most days, the total was $6.66.  But today, unlike most days, I had a manager instead of my usual girl, and the manager refused to give me the total.  He just stared at the register with a look of horror on his face, looked up at me, and waited for me to pay.  And then I stared back at him.  And asked him how much it was.  And he said, “Don’t make me say it.”  As if!  My man was just waiting for Satan to leap out of the fry vat.  So I sighed, handed over the $6.66, and went on my merry way.

But y’all?  That’s just really stupid.

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3 Responses to “You and Me and the Devil Makes Three”

  1. cate3710 Says:

    Really stupid, yes. But also rather hilarious. Couldn’t he have said six dollars and sixty-six cents? I would think that the extra words would lessen the Satanic power or something.

    I hope he never visits New York and walks by 666 5th Ave – the numbers are right on it, nice and big and red. He’d probably have a heart attack on the spot.

  2. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    He’s probably a devoute deacon for your favorite gulag visting Conway minister! If he happens to wait on you again, I have no doubt you’ll be on their prayer chain for your blasphemous ordering…you hilarious little harlot!

  3. J.Gold (the new and improved ZippyTortoise) Says:

    Now Iron Maiden’s “Number of the Beast” is stuck in my head. I don’t know if I’d be capable of paying $6.66 in that McDonald’s without dramatically bursting into song.

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