Late-Breaking News: Rocket the Pig Swims

What better way to return to Dixie than by blogging about a pig?  Okay, here goes.

If you have good taste in random thoughts blogs, you may have read my earlier post about our fabulous farm vacation.  A highlight of the trip was our introduction to Rocket, the stray pig who wandered onto my in-laws’ farm a few months ago.  I’ve been meaning to update Rocket’s story, but I kept forgetting until a certain alert reader who tends to leave empty Coors Light cans on our children’s Thomas the Tank Engine train table emailed me a story about Squeaky the Wonder Pig.  Squeaky is a stray pig who was taken in by some kind cattle ranchers in Rosharon, Texas.  If you’re too lazy to click on the link (and you know you are), let me break it down for you: Squeaky is a 385-pound feral pig who guards cattle at Nolan Ryan’s China Grove Ranch (WTF?) in Brazoria County, Texas.

To this, I say: “Yawn.”  Every time I get the Rocket update from my mother-in-law, I have to wonder why other pigs even bother to keep breathing.  Rocket doesn’t guard cows; she is a cow.  She tried for months and months and damn months, and she has now successfully broken into the herd.  She hangs with the cows all day.  She swims with them in the pond.  She snuggles the baby moo moos without any backlash from their mamas.  She falls in line with the herd when they move to a new field.  She will shank a heifer who tries to cut in line at the grain trough.  She still shimmies under the electric fence at night to return to her nest in the woods for some shuteye, but our girl is getting big, and it won’t be long before she feels the burn of the fence and decides to stay put at night.

So wonder about Rocket’s progress no longer, gentle readers, because now you’re up to date.  I didn’t break the story early because here on the Grand Strand we apparently prefer our news to be late breaking rather than early breaking or just plain breaking, and I know y’all wouldn’t expect anything other than local flavor from yours truly.


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4 Responses to “Late-Breaking News: Rocket the Pig Swims”

  1. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    Well thank heavens you’re back! As for Nolan Ryan’s fab pig…Texas isn’t a real Southern state and that pig apparently has identity issues. I clicked on the article and that’s one very confused pig.

    Hooray for Rocket! Yes, I’m afraid holding your own at the grain trough is not long-term compatible with sliding under a low-rider fence. Rocket is 99% cow, so I’m sure she’ll learn how to bed-down just fine. Keep us posted!

  2. TheDomina Says:

    I am so jealous of your vacation! Rocket sounds fabulous, but we needs pics of Rocket with said cow herd!

  3. nadarine Says:

    I’m cackling in anticipation of more posts tagged “lameass texas swine”.

  4. The Mayor of Bethville Says:

    Some pig.

    You knew someone was going to post that eventually. I just took one for the team and said it.

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