Big Mama Don’t Wanna Go Insane

I’m working on a blues mix for several bitches who are so lowdown, dirty, and mean that when I asked for a drink of water, they brought me gasoline.  You know who you are.  I gave you my Cadillac keys, but you don’t drive.  I hired you a limousine, but you won’t ride.  Hookers.

The mixing process has revealed my true colors, unfortch.  I am officially a tool of the patriarchy, because after about five shuffles, I still had no women on the playlist.  Adding Bessie Smith and Etta James was a quick fix but kind of an obvious one.  So I did a little digging and came up with Big Mama Thornton.  Holy shit, Big Mama, where have you been all my life?  I’d trade Muddy Waters, B.B. King, and Skip James for you and a pack of gum.  Check out my girl in the clip above, and get ready to feel the hurtin’ that the one who got away laid down on you when she cries out:

  • Whoa baby
  • Why do everything just have to happen to me?
  • Why do everything have to happen to poor old me?
  • Because I know our love gonna last forever, for eternity.
  • Ball and chain, turn me loose.

Suck it, Janis Joplin.  You’re known for this song, but Big Mama wrote it, and she set the standard.  Look for her on my hawt blues mix.  She’ll be comin’ out swinging on Track 13, and white girls from here to Oakland will be feeling it.


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2 Responses to “Big Mama Don’t Wanna Go Insane”

  1. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    The Devil luvs a bitch with great taste in blues!

  2. nadarine Says:

    I will recommend adding some Sister Rosetta Tharpe, an undeservedly forgotten kick-ass soul singer.

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