A Study in Overthinking

Waiting for Barry to pick a vice presidential candidate is a lot like waiting for Brett Favre to land somewhere, anywhere: it’s a long, painful process, there is no end of talking heads to speculate about it, and we all have a sinking feeling it isn’t going to end well.  While it’s too late for Favre, the NFL, or the Packers to tidy up their own corner of Waiting Game Hell, Barry still has a chance to do something that makes sense.

Barry, you must pick HRC.  Step away from Caroline Kennedy, as lovely as she is, because while I’m sure she rocks it pretty hard as the American Ballet Theatre chairman, I sincerely doubt she has her finger on the pulse of what ordinary Americans want or need from a presidential candidate.  Do not look to her or anyone else for assistance in choosing your running mate.  All you need are the numbers, baby, because just like hips, the numbers don’t lie:

  • 55% of Democratic or Democratic-leaning voters want to see HRC as the party’s vice presidential nominee. That number is up slightly from May, when 53% of Democrats said you should choose her.
  • You are in a dead heat with John McCain.  Today’s numbers have you leading by only one percentage point, 46% to 45%.
  • Adding HRC to the ticket boosts your lead to 52%.
  • HRC is the only vice presidential candidate who improves your numbers at all.

Why are you making this so hard, friend?  I understand that only 37 percent of voters who supported you in the primary think you should pick Clinton, but sometimes it’s your job as a parent to put your petulant hipster kids to bed when they’ve played one too many games of kickball.  Give them a macrame project, a few pounds of free trade coffee, and a stack of vinyl records from bands who broke up before they were born, and they’ll stay obliviously busy until after the convention.  Sure, they’ll be a little angry when they found out what you did, but I have a feeling they’ll just throw you a “Like, whatever, dude” and shuffle along.

See how easy that was?  I’m relieved, you’re relieved, and I’m sure Caroline will be grateful to get back to…whatever it is she does.


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3 Responses to “A Study in Overthinking”

  1. dorothyzbornak Says:

    I don’t know why he doesn’t just go ahead and pick her. She’s the obvious choice. She’s the smart choice. And honestly, in my mind, she’s the only choice. I’ll be disappointed with anyone else.

  2. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    I am seriously concerned that she will not get the VP nod and this will leave the DNC fractured, giving MrCrankyPants just enough edge to be elected. Please tell me I’m wrong Beach Bum!?

  3. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    I don’t think he will pick her. The obvious moment to do so has passed, and apparently even her people are saying they have given up trying. I will probably give him a pass on not picking her, but if he picks another woman, darts are gonna fly.

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