50 Men to Call Your Lover

Uncool quirk confession time: I love “The View.”  I work from home, and just as I did during my maternity leave, I now adhere to a strict NPR/Coffee/TV/iTunes/More Coffee/Trip to the Mailbox/Lunch/Afternoon Movie/Shower/Call it a Day schedule.  The only difference between then and now is that I’ve turned the child over to someone else and thrown in a little blogging, a lot of Facebook, and replaced “Matlock” with “The View.” 

99% of my love for this cackling henfest is Whoopi Goldberg and the quick work she makes of shutting down any nonsense her fellow hosts or the show’s guests throw her way.  This morning was no exception.

The gals were dishing about Carla Bruni’s “number,” which is apparently around fifty.  “OMG slut slut slut alert” was the general reaction, until Whoopi laid down her number, which she estimates is also around fifty.  Of course Elisabeth averted her eyes, Baba Wawa made an uncomfortable joke, and Sherri asked how Whoopi could get a man when she advertises such a hooka number.  My girl came out on top, though, shrugging it all off as always, and I gotta raise my “I’m on a Seafood Diet, I Eat Everything I See” coffee mug to her.  Ain’t no shame, Whoopi, ain’t no shame.


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8 Responses to “50 Men to Call Your Lover”

  1. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    Ya’ll I view men like the buffet of life and I’d sure as hell hate to get stuck in the appetizer section. So I say rock on Whoopi and keep nibblin on that yummy buffet…whatever your number. Mine current buffet number is 9, for what it’s worth!

  2. lalaland13 Says:

    Baba Wawa’s been with 50 senators, who is she kidding?

    Yay for Whoopi getting lots of whoopee. As long as you’re safe about it, I say, the more the better.

    This is kind of OT, but I’m really wondering how people stay marrried and not cheat-I may blog about this. It’s a long story.

  3. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    Lala, given my “buffet perspective” and focus on career, marriage would not be the sensible choice for me. Maybe someday….

  4. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    lala, I think the number is around 60%. That rings a bell. Anyway, yes, please blog it. I’d love your take.

    And you know Baba Wawa forked the world! As J’s granddad said every time she came on the teevee, “You know, she made it on her back.” Hahahahaha I love old crazy people.

  5. j.d.regent Says:

    It’s 50 lovers all right, but I doubt all 50 were men. I mean right?

  6. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    Good call, J.D. I’m sure you’re right. Whoopi knows from enjoying life; why not enjoy both sides of the coin?

  7. The Mayor of Bethville Says:

    If there is anything I have learned in life, it’s that numbers of sexual partners don’t indicate what kind of a person someone is.

    And I truly, truly love Whoopi. A few years ago, she came to Scholastic for a woman’s day panel discussion. She gave the opening presentation and then bailed. Like, “My work here is done. I’m out.” She doesn’t try to be someone she isn’t or try to bask in the limelight. She wears her baggy clothing and no bra. She’s genuine and brilliant. And she isn’t afraid to smack someone down when they deserve it.

  8. amazonredheadedubervixen Says:

    Oh, please. Those judgmental bitches need to do the math. 50 partners for a 50+ year old woman averages out to just 2 a year if her V-card was cashed in at age 25! So fuck all of those judgmental bitches, especially Baba.

    P.S. My number is higher than Whoopi’s and she’s got at least 15 years on me. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, View-sters!

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