Pluff Mud Will Suck the Boots Right Off Your Feet

Every time we go to the beach at Pawleys Island, I see a sign telling me that pluff mud will suck the boots right off my feet.  I think that’s probably the most informative warning sign I’ve ever seen.  “Caution: Slow Children At Play” makes me giggle, “Warning: Strong Undertow” is a little too general to be useful, but “ZOMG Watch Out Bitch Pluff Mud Will Suck the Boots Right Off Your Feet and Pull You Down Into the Swamp Where the Alligators Grow So Mean Poke Salad Annie Gator Got Your Granny” really paints a picture.  I do not want to be pulled into the pluff mud.  It smells bad, it’s full of decomposing plants and animals, and it is far from my preferred method of death (drunk driving golf cart crash into a Palmetto tree on Daufuskie Island in my old age, if you must know).  That’s why I freaked the fuck out when I heard about a 2000 pound hossie named “Doc” getting stuck in the pluff mud on Hilton Head Island the other day.

According to The Island Packet, poor Doc somehow wandered into the pluff mud and got stuck waist-deep in the muck.  He would’ve died of dehydration, gators who had his granny, etc. etc., but a team of 15-20 amazing rescuers spent an hour fashioning a harness out of rope and pulling him little by little until he finally came free.  Here’s a pic:

Doc even helped, stepping carefully as his legs were pulled one by one from the mud.  At the end of the day, he really wasn’t any worse for the wear, needing only an IV to help him come ’round.  Sweetness and light, huh?  That’s as good a way as any to start off your Monday, methinks.


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8 Responses to “Pluff Mud Will Suck the Boots Right Off Your Feet”

  1. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    I’m so glad this story had a happy ending ’cause the pluff mud is evil stuff. Kudos to the rescue team that knew how to handle and coax the horse slowly from the mud. That was no easy job! These volunteers are good souls and get extra stars in their crown!! Now surely you know what’s coming next from this plackard-toting, animal lovin nut….

    WTF is wrong w/Doc’s owner!? I guess someone doesn’t keep a routine eye on their stock. Holy hell does this idiot not realize owning horse is a 24/7/365 responsibility, just like a child. Would you leave a child unattended by pluff mud all day, I freakin think not! I believe Doc’s owner needs a roper and a ridin crop liberally applied to their negligent ass.

  2. *h Says:

    Look at that poor baby! I’m so glad they got him out. That shit is terrifying. Is it like quick sand, where you’re supposed to not struggle, and then crawl your way out on your stomach?

  3. Blondegrlz Says:

    Call me crazy but one of the things I miss most about South Carolina is the smell of pluff mud. If they made it into an air freshener I’d use it in my house.

  4. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    @*h: I don’t know what you do if you get stuck in the pluff mud. I’ve only heard about large animals getting stuck. I may or may not be a large enough animal to be sucked in, but I don’t plan to find out anytime soon.

    @Devil: I know, right? The article was conspicuously absent of any mention of how Doc’s mama allowed him to wander into the pluff mud. Perhaps she was working on the chain gang?

    @Blondegrlz: Yes, yes, I agree. It does have a certain appeal. The Beaufort County Library’s website reminds us that:

    “Though certainly an acquired taste, marsh smell has long been the first sign of homecoming for Lowcountry people returning from trips away from the mudflats (the cover of Pat Conroy’s novel, The Prince of Tides, depicted a salt marsh vista, after all).”

    True dat.

  5. notaclevername Says:

    Falling into a bog was always one of my fears at summer camp in Michigan. Then I moved to Florida, where people get stuck in quicksand so close to civilization that the sounds of traffic drown out their cries for help.

    Be careful, MBB. And, yes, if pluff mud is the cousin of bogs and quicksand I think it is, grab a branch and crawl out on your belly.

    @blondgrlz: I miss the smell of bogs. It’s disgusting, but it’s home.

  6. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    I wonder if any of the Lush products smell like pluff mud. Where does the word pluff come from?

    Go ahead, laugh at the dumb city girl.

  7. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    This just in from J, who refuses to comment on my blog but emails me his comments like the early bird special afficionado that he is:

    I sucks off yo topsiders
    Cuts off yo toes
    Why you still loves me
    Nobody knows

    I gets in the cuts in yo feets an’ yo hands
    An’ gives you vibrio vulnificans

    I raise half the fush and the swimps in the sea
    That’s why you can’t get along without me

    Pluuuuuf Muddddd!

    By: Russ Harley

  8. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    Oh, and Skinny, “pluff” comes from the sound it makes when you step in it, I think.

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