Hooking the Big One

We spent a little extra for a house on the pond, and thus far it’s been worth it for so many reasons, not least of which is the school of gullible fish under our dock.  You can catch ’em with shrimp, you can catch ’em with chicken nuggets, and you can catch ’em with bread, poor dears.  The one I really want, though, is a big bass with a mouth like Jessica’s, and I yearn for him in a wrongful way.

I had him hooked a few weeks ago, but he got away, only to haunt me ever since.  Last night I dreamed about giving him a good squeeze while J unhooked him, and I believe this will be the weekend I finally win the battle of wills.  The stale waffle buffet is closed, motherfucker, and I’m coming for you.  Let me know if you see him, would you? You won’t have no trouble finding me; I’ll be around, beer and pole at the ready.

P.S.  Y’all know this is not me, but the fact that I love this picture really speaks to the redness of my neck.

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4 Responses to “Hooking the Big One”

  1. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    Oh hell, go for the outfit! You’ll be the hottest Captain Ahab to pursue a fish on the Grand Strand. We expect an update…

  2. angiesyounglover Says:

    what would jessica mcclintock say!?

  3. *h Says:

    I love the bracelet. That really classes it up, yeah?

    I am dying at this picture. It has made my Monday morning.

  4. dorothyzbornak Says:

    Replace that Bud Light with a Coors, and you’re in business.

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