Eat Me

One thing I dislike about Myrtle Beach is the fact that visibility in the water is zip.  I’m always wondering what’s swimming, slithering, or floating around my feet, and God forbid anything touches me because I’ll be climbing J like a tree to get the fuck away from whatever it is.  So it was with horror that I listened as he told me about pedicure fish tonight as I was peeling dead skin off his feet (motherfucking sue me; I like to peel shit, mkay?  Got any Elmer’s BTW?)

The Telegraph  has the scoop on this nastiness:

“Owners of Yvonne Hair and Nails in Alexandria, a suburb of Washington DC, estimate 5,000 customers have so far tried the unorthodox treatment, in which customers immerse their feet in warm water filled with tiny, voracious carp.

“The toothless fish, termed garra rufa but known as ‘doctor fish’, nibble away at dead skin while leaving healthy flesh untouched, providing what advocates say is a natural alternative to potentially unsanitary razors, clippers or pumice stones. “

Horrifying.  I don’t like things to be a’nipping at my heels, and I’m pretty sure it would be even worse knowing it was coming.  I certainly don’t intend to find out for myself.  If you’ve followed the lead of Tyra Banks or “Ugly Betty” and given it a try, let me know.  I’m dying to know what it’s gonna feel like when the big one finally pulls me under.

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9 Responses to “Eat Me”

  1. The Mayor of Bethville Says:

    I would try this. I used to stick my arm in my fish tank so that my goldfish would nibble on it. I’m very sick.

  2. trixiefromtoronto Says:

    Something about this sickly appeals to me. I cannot lie.

  3. nadarine Says:

    I thought nothing was more disturbing than the Ped-Egg.

    I was wrong.

  4. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    1. I have real big issues with shit in water. I would stuff my face into M’s bosom every time DeAnna was standing waist-high in sea water with long, slimy tendrils of seaweed wrapping around her and whatever lover was clutched on her at the time. My mama has a lake house on CLEAR LAKE (not exactly clear) and there were certain nasty patches you DID NOT SWIM THROUGH, because the long, slimy tendrils of sea foliage were waiting in the darkness to KILL YOU DEAD. Hate. Hate. HATE SHIT IN WATER.

    2. Wouldn’t the fishies wee nibbles tickle and make you splash around and defeat the purpose?

    3. I accidentally killed my ex-GF’s fishies because I gave them an ice cube to “play with” on a hot day. Oops.

  5. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    PS. Um, DeAnna the most awesome Bachelorette ever. Sorry.

  6. kadinsky Says:

    oh i would so do this. matter of fact, i may book a train over now ‘cuz i am dead curious to know what it feels like.

    and hell yeah on peeling shit. mr. k’s arms are peeling from a sunburn from a week ago and the fact that he left it alone so i could molt him in GREAT BIG pull away strips was almost orgasmic.

  7. J.Gold (the new and improved ZippyTortoise) Says:

    Ooooh, I’m a million years late to this but I must tell my story knowing that someone else will share my horror.
    On my first date with my now boyfriend, he took me caving which, though messy, was surprisingly fun. There was a big underground pond in the cave that we waded around the edge of and said stuff like, “wow, wonder how deep it is” and joked about the possibility of a huge tentacled monster living in it. No deadly incidents occurred at the time. We went back to the cave with some friends and an industrial flashlight later in the summer, and this time the water in the pond was very clear. Like a dumbass, I suggest we shine the flashlight down in there and see what it looks like. Ignorance was better. First of all, this pond, in a pitch-fucking-dark cave, is deep. Like 40-50 deep, except for a little rim around the edge. And down inside it, there are not one, but TWO gigantic holes, one at the bottom and one halfway up the side, just the right size for ginormous scary eel-beasts with 7-foot-wide heads to come bursting out of as soon as we set foot in the water. I was terrified, and the last one to cross. I tried to keep my cool and act all hardass in front of the congregation who had already crossed and stirred up the fucking water so it was all murky. I truly expected some tentacled monster like the one outside the cave in Lord of the Rings to drag me under while my friends looked on helplessly. Jesus.
    I made it out alive, but I am NOT inclined to go wading through there again, and also did not appreciate the boy’s (I hope) joke about “next time we should get some scuba equipment and check it out.”

  8. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    JGold hold me baby I’m SCARED. Scary scary scary. Caves within caves are something we cannot abide.

    Also, I have your number, butter goddess, and I’m going to call you tomorrow. I heard a nasty good rumor that you were on the Grand Strand. I’m coming for you!

  9. SPARKLE Says:

    find me a place to get this done and I will have a full report for you!

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