A Confederacy of Greasy Lunches




Thank God it’s Friday because Friday means Krystal night.  Mmmm…little sliders, fries, and a bucket of Diet Coke.  Krystals are one thing I love about the South.  Yes, we are the fattest people in America, but we’ve had a lot of fun getting that way.  As my husband recently put it, “Everytime I go anywhere else, the food sucks, and there isn’t enough of it.”  Hahaha, J, good one; that’s right up there with, “Taste this: it’s terrible.”

Anyway, you can slag on the South all you like, but you can’t deny the fact that we have the best food.  If you don’t believe me, I invite you to jump with me to the next page for pictorial evidence of the smack-down that is Southern food.  1, 2, 3, go!

J, Krystal hamburgers, and Moon Pies all came from Chattanooga, Tennessee.  Yum on all 3 counts.



This one’s for you, Dorothy Zbornak.  Both of y’all hail from North Carolina, and you’re both sweet and tasty.


Community coffee is what you’d always find at my Granny’s house.  I don’t keep anything else in my house, either.  This is partially out of love and respect for my Granny, but you wouldn’t find no Sanka sitting around in her honor.  It’s good stuff, I tell you.


My other grandmother kept RC in her fridge at all times.  She was a good woman.


Candy of the South.

Bow down to the greatest bourbon evah.  I’ve heard tell of a few others (Jim Beam?  Jack Daniels?  Wild Turkey?), but I’m nothing if not stuck in my ways.

Some would argue that Texas is its own region, but the production of RoTel alone warrants the Lone Star State inclusion in Dixie.  Go ahead and microwave it with some Velveeta, but don’t tell BangieB lest she bludgeon you with a crock pot.

Everything’s better on the Bayou, including the hot sauce.

My favorite mayonnaise to eat by the spoonful (not that I’m picky about it).




Did you know that folks who work on the Chik-fil-A “campus” eat the good stuff for free in the cafeteria?  Shhhhh…I have it on good authority.  Don’t show up without your regulation Chik-fil-A tie, though.






Thank you, Cajuns.







Biloxi, Mississippi: a fun place to cash your paycheck and home of the world’s best root beer.






Arkansas, my Ford hat is off to you for giving us Bill Clinton and Allens Poke Salet.  Someone pass the pepper vinegar so I can hose ’em both down and ‘et up.








Thanks to this little outfit in Carrollton, Georgia, I’ll never cook for Thanksgiving again.  Not that I ever did, but still.








I once drove 300 miles to Vidalia, Georgia to take a deposition.  If someone had paid me in onions, it would’ve been worth it.





Did you say you bake with something else?  Get behind me, Satan.












Haydel’s Bakery King Cake.  Sweets + Toys = Win.









Hungry yet?  Me, too.  Good thing I’m off to the farm for a week beginning tomorrow.  My mother-in-law is a fine Southern cook, even if she is from Kentucky.  Hit’ll eat, y’all.



13 Responses to “A Confederacy of Greasy Lunches”

  1. bewilderedhousewife Says:

    You’d think I was pregnant, the way I am sitting here entranced and salivating… oh, wait…

    This was so not fair.


  2. London_Calling Says:

    Oh my god, Goo Goo Clusters. I apologize, I’m drunk, I’ll just sit here and drool at the lovely food pictures, don’t mind me. Also, coming from the Midwest, we have Bangs, but it’s called something else I think…something I can’t remember, but the can is the same. Also, i guess, as in the Midwest, so goes the South “if there isn’t enough to take home after you’re done eating, it wasn’t a good meal.”

  3. bananaballs Says:

    What’s Rotel? A yankee wants to know!

  4. dorothyzbornak Says:

    This morning I woke up hung over as all hell and the first thing I did was suck down a cold Cheerwine. And I felt 100% better. Nectar of the Gods, y’all.

    And you know what goes great with a cold Cheerwine? A Goo Goo Cluster.

  5. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    Hello, bananaballs! RoTel is diced green chile peppers and tomatoes, and if you melt a can together with a block of Velveeta, you’ll have the best cheese dip ever. I say microwave it; BanbieB says fork you, Myrtle, it’s gotta be made in a crockin’ pot.

    Now I need some banana pudding, damnit.

  6. bananaballs Says:

    Damn, myrtle. That sounds tasty. I bet you can get some real good peach salsa in your parts, too. Thank the powers that be for Paul Newman, I guess!

  7. Lalaland13 Says:

    Ohh and Sonic. I have a friend who lives in the Twin Cities of MN, and she’s all excited because they finally got a Sonic nearby. Supposedly there were one-to-two-hour waits for food at the busiest times. But it all started down South.

    Y’all like spinach? I work very very close to an Allens canning company plant place. Wow, way to be precise with my words. I don’t like spinach much, but it smells better than the chicken plant, at least. I hate the chicken and dog food plants at least. I see chicken trucks multiple times a day-it drives me nuts.

    On a lighter note, I may have to go get me some Sonic. Or some moon pies.

  8. BAngieB Says:

    I have several of those items in my cupboards right now. And, yes, Myrtle, crockin’ pot is the way to go. Plus, you know, a can of Ro-tel makes many things better: chili and soup, or you can just pour a couple of cans over chicken and bake it. Um, um, good. Also, Tabasco makes meatloaf better.
    That’s all the secrets I’m giving away. Now, I think I’ll have an RC Cola and a Moon Pie and play maypole on the hill.
    Such as.

  9. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    B4D busted my Sonic cherry. Oh, M’s too. It was a sonictastic threesome orgy of hot, thick goodness.

  10. dorothyzbornak Says:

    @BAngieB: I don’t know this Tabasco you speak of, it’s Texas Pete or nothin’ at all.

  11. amazonredheadedubervixen Says:

    Skinny, that B4D is a real Sonic slut, ’cause she busted my Sonic Cherry (Limeade) too. Praise Dolly & pass the tater tots!

  12. AGreenEyeDevil Says:

    I’m very, very partial to the fudge at the SC beach trip icon Sparky’s – chewy praline. To.die.for!!

  13. Moving Companies California Says:

    i am trying to make my lunches as less Greasy as possible, doesn’t make me feel good after that and makes me sleepy at work, loved your post, VERY useful, Shawn the mover.

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