It’s All Going to Hell in Its Own Pretty Handbasket

 

My grandfather likes to tell me that America is going to Hell in a handbasket.  I like to tell him to drive his riding mower into the lake and be done with it.  But one thing we can agree on is the abysmal use of the English language by Kids Today (*shakes fist*).  Here, without further ado, are the top five ridiculous misspellings and grammar fuckups I’ve encountered on the interwebz lately:

1.  Using “it’s” as a possessive pronoun.  Really, people?  My sons can do this one right, and they go to South Carolina public school.

2.  Its kissin’ cousin, “who’s” in place of “whose.”

3.  “I could care less.”  So…you do, in fact, care about the Agyness Deyn/Kate Moss rivalry?  That’s sweet.  Me too.

4.  “Identicle” used by a commenter on Jezebel when talking about the fact that she is an identical twin.  This one has fucked me for life.  I’ve laughed so hard at it so many times that it’s ruined me for the correct spelling of “identical” or “tentacle.”  My formal request to change the spelling is pending with Oxford.

5.  “Post pardem.”  I have no words for this one.

I know there have been others, but they don’t spring to mind right now.  Maybe I’ll go check with my granddad to see if he has anything to add.  Or maybe I’ll go chew one of my toes off.  Either way.

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7 Responses to “It’s All Going to Hell in Its Own Pretty Handbasket”

  1. dorothyzbornak Says:

    My favorite is misused emphasis quotation marks, most commonly seen on signs. One I saw recently at the farmer’s market made me chuckle: Fresh, farm-grown “Peaches.”

    Hmm, I don’t think I want any of these so-called “peaches” you’re trying to sell me.

  2. myrtlebeachbum Says:

    Dorothy: I hate that too! Even worse is when they put “fresh” in quotation marks. “Fresh” beef? No thanks. I don’t want my “fresh” to be implied; I want it to be REAL.

  3. hortense Says:

    Dude. “Irregardless” drives me up the fucking wall.

  4. nadarine Says:

    Dear god. Also, “beckoned call”, my yoga teacher telling me to AX-tend from my hips, “expresso”, and “launder-mat/ laundry-mat”.
    Many things make me angry. Apostrophes are just the start of it, really.

  5. amazonredheadedubervixen Says:

    Im sure I have no idea what your talking about. Kids today know they’re grammer and spelling forwards and backwards, their not afraid to show it and if you dont like it than its you’re problem.

  6. Skinny Bone Jones Says:

    My boss: “So the thing of it is, is that…”

    STFU or just spit it out, you moron!

  7. LipstickLibrarian Says:

    “Supposably.”

    UGH.

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